Kikyo Torture
by nike13
Summary: ::2 uploads in 1 day:: Just look at the title, if you have any suggestions please let me know and I'll put them up in the next chapter
1. Just the Beginning

Things to do to Kikyo  
  
Disclaimer:I don't own any of the characters of Inu Yasha, that's owned by Rumiko Takahashi-sama  
  
Disclaimer2:I know some people actually like Kikyo (I honestly don't know why, but I accept it) so if you are one of these people don't take it personal its just my opinion and don't flame me or anything, this was all for fun, written at like 11 at night. Thankx, and I do like any responses as long as its not about why Kikyo's the best, yada yada yada  
  
Author's Note: okay last thing if you have any suggestions for more torments and painful deaths, just tell me and I'll put them on here, okay I'm done now  
  
1. Lock her in a room with Kagome fans and wait for the screams, then throw the remains to savage dogs, when they're done, throw them into a pit of boiling hot lava  
2. Through her off a cliff, shoot her with an arrow, and make an ogre stomp on her for good measure (you know the kind that Sesshomaru rides)  
3. Burn the undead witch (sorry, stupid but I couldn't resist it)  
4. Lock her in a room with Kagome and watch the soul get sucked out of her  
5. Tell Sesshomaru that Kikyo said he looks like a girl and watch her be shred to peices  
6. Give her a kimono laced with poison ivy (no calamine lotion back then)  
7. Put hundreds of angry killer bees inside her kimono  
8. Pin her to a tree and tell Kagome to use her as target practice  
9. 'Does earth or bones burn?' test theory on Kikyo  
10. Report her as an alien to Area 51, find out what makes her tick from the autopsy 


	2. More 'Fun'

Things to do to Kikyo  
  
Disclaimer:I don't own any of the characters of Inu Yasha, that's owned by Rumiko Takahashi-sama  
  
Disclaimer2:I know some people actually like Kikyo (I honestly don't know why, but I accept it) so if you are one of these people don't take it personal its just my opinion and don't flame me or anything, this was all for fun, written at like 11 at night. Thankx, and I do like any responses as long as its not about why Kikyo's the best, yada yada yada  
  
Author's Note: Problem with this is I keep thinking of the same old stuff, thats why the lists are so short (I'll shoot for more later, when school cools down a bit)  
  
Author's Note Cont: Hooray!!! Part two!!! Thank you for the reviews (I loved them) and so lets begin the torture. Okay last thing if you have any suggestions for more torments and painful deaths, just tell me and I'll put them on here, okay I'm done now  
  
1. Strap her to a chair and force her to watch Shirley Temple movies over and over and over again  
2. Tye those soul-catcher demons she uses into a noose around her neck and force them to fly away  
3. Create a voodoo doll of her and have fun ^^ (from moonymonster)  
4. Burn her again (from moonymonster)  
5. Bound up Kikyo+moonymonster+knife...=) (from moonymonster)  
6. Hit her with her own purity arrow  
7. Force feed the wench a POWERFUL laxative, string her up by her heels and tickle her (from Alkaline Lady)  
8. Force her to drink an entire can of Root Beer and not allow her to burp (physically impossible)  
9. Feed her hot curry and then give her a glass of tobasco sauce to drink  
10. Give her the entire work of Hamlet and then force her to recite it the next day or face extreme pain (I actually can recite Hamlet, stupid English class) 


	3. The Madness Continues

Things to do to Kikyo  
  
Disclaimer:I don't own any of the characters of Inu Yasha, that's owned by Rumiko Takahashi-sama  
  
Disclaimer2:I know some people actually like Kikyo (I honestly don't know why, but I accept it) so if you are one of these people don't take it personal its just my opinion and don't flame me or anything, this was all for fun, written at like 11 at night. Thankx, and I do like any responses as long as its not about why Kikyo's the best, yada yada yada  
  
Author's Note: Problem with this is I keep thinking of the same old stuff, thats why the lists are so short (I'll shoot for more later, when school cools down a bit)  
  
Author's Note Cont: Hooray!!! Part three!!! Thank you for the reviews (I loved them) and so lets begin the torture. Okay last thing if you have any suggestions for more torments and painful deaths, just tell me and I'll put them on here, okay I'm done now  
  
1. Force her to watch every edition of this is your life  
2. Force her to listen to Brittany Spears for three days straight (Arabwel)  
3. Nuke her (moonymonster)  
4. Sick an angry tiger after her (moonymonster)  
5. Make her drink a love potion and have her fall for Jaken (moonymonster) (this is extremely cruel, even for Jaken)  
6. Stick her into a kiln with your latest clay project. I've always wondered about what would happen...would she just explode from the air bubble in her head (yeah that happens when you leave cavities in the clay...) (I hope you didn't just eat)  
7. Explore native american heritage! Tie her down to the ground, cut off her eyelids (be sure this is at about midday), and be sure there are a LOT of ants nearby. Or you could just scalp her (I hope you didn't just eat)  
8. Dress her up as a crash dummy and sell her to a car company (I hope you didn't just eat)  
9. Steal an EMPTY port-a-potty, gag her and tie her up, toss her in the portapotty, steal all the portapotties from a marathon course, and then leave the kikyo portapotty there. Or just go find a latrine (you know- one of those ones at camp where there's a pit dug into the ground)and pitch her in (I hope you didn't just eat)  
10. Stuff a cockroach down her kimono (dmg)  
  
Author's Note (ANOTHER?!):Man you people are MEAN!!! I LOVE YOU GUYS!!! Send me more and I'll post them, gonna have to make larger installments if this keeps up though (oh well). I did get more just ran out of room so there will be another chapter in like a day or two (when school work slows down). Thankx for all your torture ideas. ~nike13 


	4. The craziness continues

Things to do to Kikyo  
  
Disclaimer:I don't own any of the characters of Inu Yasha, that's owned by Rumiko Takahashi-sama  
  
Disclaimer2:I know some people actually like Kikyo (I honestly don't know why, but I accept it) so if you are one of these people don't take it personal its just my opinion and don't flame me or anything, this was all for fun, written at like 11 at night. Thankx, and I do like any responses as long as its not about why Kikyo's the best, yada yada yada  
  
Author's Note : FINALLY! Geez you'd think I was dead or something with how long its taken me to update (too much school, fun ol' college huh?) But anyway, I've decided to post all those fun little ideas all you crazies out there (you know who you are) have told me, and thats a lot; hmm maybe I'll even add some of my own, depends how tired I am afterwards.  
  
1. Try stuffing that round stone thing (Shikon no Tama) down her throat. I bet if they did that while incinerating her, that marble couldn't have caused even further trouble. But it's much more fun if she were alive. (from Ceilo)  
2. Tie her up like a pinata and then bind fold her and make the little kids beat her up until she explodes (from Inu-baby)  
3. Take all the bad, mean, ugly, horrible, and You-give-too-much-homework teachers and then make them teach her (from Inu-baby)  
4. Make her eat her own snot (from Inu-baby)  
5. Stick pepper up one nose and then tobasco sauce up the other (from Inu-baby, again!=P)  
6. Make her kiss jaken (from Inu-baby)  
7. Turn her into a bug and squish her (from Inu-baby)  
8. Give her the biggest weggy (from Inu-baby)  
9. Hold her up with a rope around her neck and then put tape all over her!! (remember, they didn't get to shave back then...) and then RIP (from 'the dangerous' Inu-baby ^^)  
10. Tie her to the wall in Naru-san's room (love hina) and wait (don't know haven't seen Love Hina yet but now I really wanna, anyway from tori atasunae)  
11. Put her in math class and after 1 lesson she must pass the world's hardest test with a perfect score or be sliced into bitty pieces and roasted in the place she belongs (^^ I like math torture, from kitty demon)  
12. Make her watch the wedding of kagome and inu yasha (man have I gotten a lot like this one, from kitty demon)  
13. Dress her as Kagome and through her into a room full of (hopefully few) Kikyo and Inuyasha fans and watch them tear her apart (from kitty demon)  
14. Let Kagome suck out her souls freeing the Dead Souls and push her off a cliff. When she hits the bottom, call demons to terroise her in anyway they please (mwahahahahahaha -.-; sorry couldn't help myself, from kittykat_2_us ^^)  
15. Stick mosquites in her kimono (another from kittykat_2_us)  
16. Tell Kagome to kiss Inu-Yasha while Kikyo is stuck to a tree by her own purified arrow (this idea has been said by : kittykat_2_us; Reigufu, Sesshoumaru's wife (NO FAIR, I WANT HIM! ;-;); _______)  
17. Lock her in a fridge (a really cold one) for a few weeks and see if she develops fur...=P If she dont, to bad for her (EVIL! from Miyami)  
18. Lock her in a room with an elementary school band on the first day of class (thats just too horrible to think about, from Triad Card 844A)  
19. Strap her on a car, ducktape her mouth, then drive through a long car wash (combo of drowning and poisoning, thorough aren't we? from Triad Card 844A)  
20. Two words: Gigantic Blender (from Triad Card 844A)  
21. Make her trade places w/ Vicky on Fairy Godparents, and then declare it Give The Babysitter Hell Via Magic day (from moonymoster)  
22. Turn her into a volleyball and put her into the Volleyball Championships (or any ball-involved tornament...) (from moonymonster)  
23. Tell Samuri Jack that she's a form of Aku and let it go from there (from moonymoster)  
24. Tell Spongebob Squarepants that Kikyo is his new best friend and leave her there for a week (from moonymoster)  
25. Plant some weeds in her and let 'em grow (man how many can one person think of...wait did I actually start this maddness? from again moonymonster)  
26. Tie her up in a chair, and play the song, "this is the song that never ends" by lambchops (I actually did this to some boys while I was in 4th grade ^^ oh how young evilness starts, from SiLvEr-iChiGo-dUsT)  
27. Melt her down or something. Then revive her. Yes, it's crazy but do it anyway. BUT before you revive her, instead of using traditional materials, use more creative resources. For instance, a nice kitty-litter body would warn you HOURS before Kikyo even got NEAR you ^_^! Or, instead of tossing that weird leaf-thingie on her to wake her up, use garlic, poison ivy, or rotten cabbage (nasty, from I hope you didn't just eat)  
28. Toss seeds in her hair and clothing while she's asleep or not looking. Toss her in puddle or lock her outside during a hurricane for light watering...CHA-CHA-CHA-CHA-CHIA! Kikyo style (I love the Chia sound affect in this one, from I hope you didn't just eat)  
29. Put full garbage bag over her head and tie the bottom to her legs so she just hops around in a durty garbage bag all day (my brother)  
30. chop her up slowly and make a traditional human excrement bomb out of each part you use. See, a human excrement bomb was technically the first biological weapon ever invented (by the chinese, coincidentally). It was really just a normal bomb, except that those chinese dudes (i THINK it was the chinese anyway...) managed to turn it also into a stink bomb by adding 20 pounds of...um...well human excrement! For all those who are vocabulary-challenged, that means it was made of TNT and s**t (refuse to comment, from I hope you didn't just eat)  
31.Give kagome a sluge hammer and let her do her stuff (from dmg)  
32. Tie her to the bow of a boat and sink it (from dmg)  
33. Stuff her in a picachu suit and feed her to pokemon haters (from dmg)  
34. Feed her algebra on her first day back from a month of boot camp (from dmg)  
35. (THE FINAL ONE TODAY!) Put Kikyo in a 'dummy' ship and tell the navy to use live torpedos on it for practice (my brother)  
  
Author's Note: You'll notice that NONE of these posts are my own ideas, sad but true. Well maybe next time I'll be feeling a little eviler than right now, now I'm just tired. Give me new ideas and I'll post them, no idea is too weird or too painful, just the too nice ideas will be thrown out ^-^ 


	5. Brun Baby Burn!

My first flame ^^ (I'm so proud)  
  
Here lies my first ever flame, obviously for Kikyo Tortures. I actually saved this because I thought it was funny ^-^ and finally decided to post for your veiwing pleasure (but I won't give the person's email, that might be mean)  
  
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Hi jackass!  
HOW DARE YOU DO THIS TO KIKYOU!!!!!!!!!!! It would be a little more helpful if that bitch Kagome did those. It would be funny if I wasn't a Kikyou fan. I don't understand how people hate Kikyou. She's cool, silent, strong, and doesn't talk much. Unlike Kagome, all she does is yell "INU-YASHA!!!!" At the sides. But...she does come in handy at times. Also, did you go to a page named...uh...forgot the name...it's: http://www.wot-club.org.uk/Inuyasha  
Exactly! Including the capital "I" in Inuyasha. You can find manga translations...in text. But...it's great there anyway...  
  
I don't think it's right for Kagome to pair up with Inu-yasha. It's not even her world, also, it's not fair at times too. Inu-Yasha and Kikyou were tricked into turning on each other. Is it her fault? Noooo. Well...it's kinda her fault...for her to have a merciful heart and make Onigumo like her...well...yeah...but who would of expected it? Geez. Anyway...Kagome is just stupid. (Hey, some people spell it like Kikyou for some reason, I just got used to it. I spelled it like Kikyo before. I wonder really how to spell her name... ::shrug:: People always say that Kikyou is dead! D-E-A-D! So she isn't a good pair. Wow. Well...now she's resurrected! And...it's really Kikyou. If you can't tell it really isn't Kikyou, you're not considered a good Inuyasha fan. Her body is made of earth and bones, but her flesh is too. It's really Kikyou, or she wouldn't be remembering Inuyasha or anything. It's just that her soul is in Kagome's, so she has to use other souls. Anyway...your fanfiction is kind of funny. If it was Kagome that is...  
  
I feel like I'm giving you a lecture...duh. I am huh? I just can't stand people hating Kikyou! Saying awful things about her. Well...anyway...visit the site I gave you! It's really good! Unless you watched the anime, that's a different story...  
--- yeekun Hu  
  
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oh wait, I just got a review for chapter four check it out (taken from the email I got from ff.net):  
nike13,   
  
The following review has been submitted to: Kikyo Torture Chapter: 4  
  
From: A racist Prick like you()  
  
I guess your ignorance is only exceeded by your charm.  
  
  
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I have but one thing to say to the last person and that would be: Thank you!!!!  
~nike13 


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